by Rabbi Gideon Black, Yoni's cousin

One of the many inspiring things we can learn from Yoni is what he did on his final morning before Yoni and I embarked on the journey that would ultimately cost him his life.

We davened Shacharit (prayed the morning service) at a shiva house. It was a Thursday morning and when we came to kriat haTorah (reading from the Torah) there was nobody able to lein (chant) the appropriate section. Yoni stepped forward and leined V’zot Habracha the last parsha in the Torah on his last day. He was fluent in much of the Torah as he leined almost weekly in Glasgow.

Then, before going to the bus station, Yoni went into a second-hand bookshop. Three weeks earlier he had bought a book there, and after signing a cheque with the shopkeeper’s pen, he accidentally slipped the pen into his pocket. He had kept it with him all this time, just in case he would get a chance to return the pen that was not even worth fifty pence. I remember his relief after giving it back to the shopkeeper, such was his desire to return the pen to its proper owner.

Both these acts are deeply rooted in Torah values. In Kiddushin (30a) it says: “The Rabbis taught in a Braita: The Torah says ‘VeShinantem’ which means ‘And you shall teach them’. This conveys that the words of Torah shall be sharply honed in your mouth, to the extent that if someone asks you something you will not stammer before answering, but rather you will be able to answer immediately.”

Clearly the words of Torah were sharply honed in Yoni’s mouth. He was able to lein fluently without preparation. Furthermore, while in Yeshiva, whenever I asked him to explain something that I didn’t understand in the Talmud, he would confidently clarify the issue without hesitation, but always in his very humble manner.

At the beginning of Parashat Ki Tetzei we are told of the Mitzva (commandment) of returning lost items to their original owner. It did not matter to Yoni that the shopkeeper would not have noticed that his pen was missing, nor did he feel that the hassle of going back to that shop was too much to justify keeping the pen. If something is not yours, you cannot use it without permission and you have an obligation to return it.

These are my last memories of my dearest friend and cousin Yoni on our final day together.

By Ari Jesner, Yoni's eldest brother.

Despite being the youngest of the four Jesner children, Yoni was very much his own person, exceptionally determined and single-minded. Although in many respects he followed in his older siblings footsteps, he carved out his own unique path. He was closest in age (with a ten year gap) to his sister Yael, who adored the fun, warmth and patience of his sweet personality.

Yoni really was something special. He had the unique gift of befriending everyone: whether 90-year-olds in synagogue, six-year-olds at his local youth group, or the laundry man where Yoni studied in Israel.  Yoni counted all these amongst his friends.

He had the most bizarre and ridiculous sense of humour. He could make anyone laugh no matter what the situation. Yoni was also extremely caring. He was the one who would always ensure that no Shabbat afternoon went by without all four of us going to visit our grandfather. He cared passionately about those things that were important to him and worked tirelessly to ensure he was doing the maximum to help as many people and good causes as possible. He had a very strong sense of what was right and fair and would never shy away from arguing his corner. Every decision Yoni made was deliberated over and thought through very carefully.

At first when Yoni went to study at Yeshiva in Israel on his gap year, many people thought he would drop out because he didn’t seem serious and was such a joker. To their amazement he turned out to be one of most serious and dedicated students. He helped a lot of the boys with their learning and gave up some of his time to learn with kids from the local neighbourhood.  Most importantly though Yoni introduced the Yeshiva to ‘Yoni humour’. If you speak to the boys he was in Yeshiva with they have plenty of stories to tell!

Yoni was a gifted student, he achieved ‘A’ grades all the way through school and was elected a school prefect. He was so busy with community work that our mum always complained that he was never at home. Where exactly he found the time to study is a mystery to everyone. He was the force behind the rejuvenation and expansion of Glasgow Bnei Akiva, his local youth group. He organised and ran cross-communal events as well as inter-youth movement activities. Yoni was responsible for sending the Jewish Youth delegation to the Scottish Parliament. He was a Jewish Studies teacher and was in charge of running the children and youth services at his local synagogue where he also assisted the Rabbi. Yoni found the time to tutor other youngsters to help them with their schoolwork and studied himself at the Glasgow Yeshiva. Yoni was also the youngest volunteer at the Glasgow Jewish burial society. He read from the Torah in synagogue almost every week and all this he accomplished in his final year of school when he was also to sit his A-levels. In true Yoni style he obtained 5 ‘A’s and secured a place to study medicine at University College London. His grades were in the top 4 students in Scotland that year. It is fair to say, without exaggeration, that Yoni in his 19 years achieved more than many people do in a lifetime.

Yoni also wrote and led Jewish assemblies at the school he attended. He saw these as a vital opportunity to educate. Yoni was concerned that when he left Glasgow there would be no-one to continue with the assemblies and so before he left to study at Yeshiva in Israel, Yoni turned down an inter-railing holiday around Europe with his friends and instead spent four weeks at the community centre in Glasgow writing assemblies for the entire year he would be away so Glasgow's young people would not have to go without.

Yoni achieved more in his 19 years than many achieve in 90.

Yoni's Writings

Yoni's writings (aphorisms) are legally copyrighted - if a third party wishes to use or reproduce the aphorisms, the potential user must contact the Foundation for permission.

Amongst Yoni’s belongings that were found on the bus, were two pages of A4 with his handwriting. These had been started in 1999 and the latest date on them was 13 July 2001.

They are of Yoni’s thoughts on life; very brief, but incredibly insightful in one so young. He wasn’t writing them to show people, he wasn’t writing them to impress. He was writing them for himself - to live by and to think about.

• Don’t make out that something is very obvious or people will be scared to ask questions.
• Don’t wear your trousers to high up.
• Don’t argue a point, even if you are sure that you are correct. Always say, ”I’ll have to check it out because you might be right”.
• Never say ‘obviously’ or ‘of course’.
• Sleep before a test or exam.
• Always push yourself to go out with friends, even if you can’t be bothered – you’ll be happy in the end.
• Do every question on the paper.
• Always laugh when someone makes a joke.
• Never blow your nose in front of people.
• Never get so drunk that you are not in control.
• Always listen when people tell you about themselves.
• Don’t bore people with details about yourself.
• Don’t do drugs; they seem to muck up your memory.
• Never go into town without a few friends’ mobile numbers incase you’re stood up.
• Always give, taking rarely makes you liked or feel good about yourself.
• Don’t be scared to get up and dance. You’ll get the hang of it.
• Never be scared to tell someone how you feel about them.
• Don’t be sarcastic.
• Never rely on anybody too much if at all.
• Always have a reasonable sum of money easily accessible.
• Ceilidhs – too much fun. (No one could quite work out what Yoni wrote on this one)
• Always be prompt – never arrive late.
• Always make an effort to look good.
• Always do homework on the night that you get it.
• Always buy presents at least one week in advance.
• Never be impatient.
• Learn from those around you.
• When teaching, never disregard an answer curtly.
• Always be enthusiastic.
• Never raise your voice.
• Don’t bore people by complaining and moaning to them about things.
• The job always expands to fill the time at hand, so don’t be scared of assuming extra responsibilities.
• Always call parents of new chanichim to make sure that they are settled in.
• Always be tolerant of other people’s imperfections.
• When you feel that you’ve got too much to do, make a list – there’s nothing like organisation to bring you back down to earth.
• When drunk, think a bit more than usual before you act.
• Relationships must not be based pure or mostly on the physical aspect, so if you see yourself depending too much on it... do some major thinking.
• Be very aware of peoples’ immaturities so that when they hurt you, you don’t bear a major grudge.
• NEVER push girls too far.
• Always wash your shoes before packing them.
• Don’t slag off past girlfriends/boyfriends in front of prospective ones – very offputting.
• Forgive but do not forget, remember what was done and be on you toes when around the person.
• Don’t play games with people; trying to think round another person can end up blowing up in your face.
• Mental approaches to different problems and situations will vary from person to person, be VERY aware of that fact when explaining or discussing – a different approach is not necessarily wrong.
• Focus on the blue kite. (Paul Silk)
• If you can’t improvise then don’t even think about working with kids.
• Go to people where they are, not where you want them to be. (Susan Simpson)
• If you find it difficult to motivate yourself to do something useful then ask yourself the following questions: At the end of the week what will I have accomplished? Will I have watched T.V. or will I have watched my actions? Will I have changed my hairstyle or will I have changed someone’s life? Will I have shared gossip or will I have shared knowledge? Will I have spent money on kids or will I have spent time with them?
• A person who is only concerned with himself, will wake up one morning and question his worth. A person who gives his time and effort to others will know his worth when he sees the fruits of his labour.
• Give that compliment!
• You can only give it if you’ve got it.
• Always look for the good, both in people and situations.
• There is no surer way of gaining someone’s respect and admiration than by making them feel special.
• If you don’t do it who will?
• Every human being is beautiful. Each has his own needs, wants, desires, passions which serve to complement and influence our experiences. This realisation not only heightens our empathy towards each other but sets each person a mission.
• The only difference between the past and the future is that we don’t worry about anymore about the past.
• There’s nothing wrong with being the same. It’s by being the same that we can appreciate where other people are coming from and help them most.
• Is it the situation that needs changing or is it you?
• Time reveals depths that we never knew existed.
• Is it worth fighting for?
• There’s always something to complain about so just try to be happy-although it’s important to strive for perfection, until you get there you may as well get the most out
  of life.
• What did you do today?
• Just because I can get away with it doesn’t mean it should be done.
• I just open my eyes and there I am.
• Everyone is waiting for something to happen- holiday, marriage etc. But this is as good as it gets. Will it be any different at 45 than at 25? This is as good as it gets.

Click here to download the aphorisms.