Tsipporah Lax - Yoni Jesner Scholar 2018-19. My 2nd Blog

This week we will iy"H be celebrating Rosh Chodesh Adar Rishon- the start of the extra month that is added into a Jewish leap year. Adar is known as the month of joy; Chazal famously say in the gemara, "משנכנס אדר מרבין בשמחה - when one enters the month of Adar he increases in joy!" (Ta'anit 29a). However, it is the lesser-known continuation of this phrase which holds the key to an important lesson for us: "משנכנס אב מעטין בשמחה - when one enters the month of Av he reduces his joy" (Ta'anit 29b). It is important to note that Chazal do not instruct us to stop being joyful altogether, but rather to "reduce" our joy. If, during Adar, we are told to increase our joy and, during Av, to reduce it, the implication is that the base level for a Jew is to be constantly experiencing some level of joy!

Understandably, being constantly joyful is no easy goal to reach. Yet last month, I was priveleged to meet Tammy Karmel, a lady whose simcha is palpable, despite the huge challenges she battles with at every moment of her day. Tammy is a young mother living in Yerushalaim whose ALS has left her paralysed. She is now only able to communicate through a very slow, tiring process using her eyes, which have retained some slight movement. Nonetheless, Tammy welcomes guests like me and my friends to share words of chizuk and inspiration with us, communicated partly through her eyes and also through pre-recorded lectures given by Tammy in the earlier stages of her disease. Meeting Tammy was a truly awe-inspiring experience. I believe it is true to say that she is the closest example to a malach (an angel) that one can meet in this world. Being almost entirely paralysed and unable to speak, eat or breathe by itself, Tammy's body functions only to encase her neshama (her soul), which shines so brightly from every part of her being. One of the main messages Tammy gave over to us was the need for bringing joy into our lives. Even under her incredibly challenging circumstances, Tammy still finds huge simcha in her life- by appreciating the wonderful friends who help to take care of her, as well as her beautiful children and the many visitors who gain so much from her, and even appreciating the very fact that she is alive- this alone, says Tammy, should bring us immense joy! Although the muscles in her face won't allow Tammy to smile, she was quick to tell us how happy she was to see us all- and it is true to say that we all felt her joy remaining with us long after we had left her presence. It feels incredibly empowering to know that if a person in Tammy's position can attain such a high level of joy, it is most certainly possible for each one of us to as well!

Joy, however, does not simply 'occur'- one must actively seek it out and work towards bringing it onto one's life. During one of my classes, I have been studying the sefer "She'arim Ba'tefillah- the Gates of Prayer," written by Rav Pincus, in which he elaborates on the different methods and forms of prayer. Recently, I learnt about connecting to G-d through "רינה", a form of prayer involving joyful song. My teacher advised us to practise tapping into this joy by simply smiling as you recite one prayer each day. I have found this to be a truly transformative experience. Every morning, as I recite the blessing of אשר יצר, thanking G-d for all my working bodily functions, I smile at Hashem and I feel great joy at the prospect of all I can achieve today with the help of my healthy body.

I have witnessed how a smile has the power to affect others as well as myself. Each week I am fortunate to spend an afternoon volunteering at Meshi, a wonderful organisation which provides education, therapy and, most importantly, plenty of love to children with special needs. I have, over the past few months, developed a very special relationship with the children in my class and I look forward to playing with them as much as they look forward to seeing me. Initially I found the experience somewhat difficult as the children only speak in Hebrew and several of them have speech difficulties, so verbal communication can be a challenge. Nonetheless, it has been wonderfully fulfilling to share a laugh with a child who has taken several weeks to come out of his shell, and very humbling to hold a low-functioning, non-verbal child in my arms and see her respond to me with the only things she is capable of giving- a smile. I have come to realise that smiles and laughter are a universal language, and everyone benefits when joy is shared. 

As we enter this joyful month of Adar, I will be focusing on increasing my own joy and continuing to share it with those around me, and on finding a way to bring this simcha with me through the rest of the year. May we all merit to have a very joy-filled month! Chodesh tov!

Activity: Two Jews, Three Opinions – by Rachel Cooklin.

Aims:

• To encourage discussion and debate of unique and individual opinions.
• To celebrate diversity of opinion
• To encourage tolerance and active listening.

Age: This programme could work for all ages, amended questions per age group below.  

Resources Needed: 5 or more A5 envelopes, post it notes, pens.

Method

 ‘Two Jews equals three opinions’ this famous joke embodies us as Jews - an opinion on everything. Although many see this as a destructive way to be I believe it can be a truly beneficial way to bring us together - the value of the individual. This activity aims to encourage discussion and debate of unique and individual opinions.

Please feel free to add/remove/alter these questions as appropriate for your groups age / ability / applicability etc.

Method: Key Stage 1-2

Print out the sheet below and give to each child in groups of 3-5.

Ask each child to draw/write their answer

Once they have finished, in small groups ask them to share their answers.

Point out any differences or similarities.

Ask children if they are happy to share some of their choices for each question. Once each question has been discussed, ask if anyone has changed their minds.

Method: Key Stage 3+

Tape 5 (or more if you feel it will enhance the activity for your group) envelopes to the wall at different points around the room, on each envelope write a different question.

Once these envelopes are on the wall give each participant post-it notes and a pen . Get them to write their answer to each question on the paper and then post it in the envelope - don't write your name on the paper!

Then gather everyone together as a group again (depending on the size this is also effective in smaller groups where each group gets a different envelope and then switch envelopes once they have been discussed - this may require altering the discussion points to be written down so the participants can do this independently)

Elaboration points and discussion on these questions (this may work better if the questions are directed to the group as a whole, this forces the participants to understand another person’s point of view. For further development of tolerance you may want to consider getting a participant to argue for the opposite perspective):

1. Why is this person a role model? What quality makes them a leader? What quality would you change about them and why?
2. Why do you feel that way? Do you think another group of Jews would value the same thing as you? (e.g chareidim, unaffiliated, modern-orthodox etc - please ensure no bashing of other groups occurs here!)
3. What would have more impact on your life? Do you need your feet or your hands more?
4. Why this number? Does sleep count? Does work count? For example, being nice to everyone etc.
5. Why? Separation of ‘church’ and state debate. Can lead on to further discussion about Zionism if the madrich/a feels it is appropriate for the group

Conclusion – Key Stage 1-2

Ask the children if they enjoyed the activity and if they enjoyed telling everyone else their answers.

Then ask if they enjoyed hearing the answers from the other children.

Discuss how they felt when people agreed or disagreed with them.

Talk about the importance of listening to others, how sometimes more than one person can be right and how important it is to accept other people’s thoughts and ideas.

Either show a real lulav or etrog, or a picture and talk about how it is made of 4 different species, which you wouldn’t think to put together – but when they are together they complement each other and allow us to fulfil the Mitzvot of Sukkot. Together, they are much stronger than they would be separately.

Conclusion – Key Stage 3+

Think about these quotes:

• “The Rabbis of the Mishnah say, “An argument which is for the sake of Heaven will have a positive outcome, and an argument which is not for the sake of Heaven will not have a positive outcome.” – Avot 5.20
• “These and these are the words of the living God." – Eruvin 13b
• “Every human being is different. Each has his own needs, wants, desires, passions which serve to complement an influence our own experiences. This realisation not only heightens our empathy towards each other but sets each person a mission.” Yoni Jesner

Discuss the value Judaism places on debate and discussion, how important it is to both have the courage of your convictions but also be able to actively listen to other’s view points.

About Rachel Cooklin

Rachel Cooklin was the Yoni Jesner Scholar 2017-18 and spent her gap year at Midreshet HaRova with Bnei Akiva on Torani. She went to Yavneh College and next year will be reading History at UCL. Rachel loves playing netball and being part of her local community in Mill Hill.

Tsipporah Lax - Yoni Jesner Scholar 2018-19. My Blog

The Shulchan Aruch teaches that the minimum dimensions for a kosher succah are two adjoining walls measuring 7 tefachim each in width, plus a partial wall that is at least a tefach wide. The Arizal draws out a beautiful message from this law: he explains that these lengths resemble the joints of a person's arm when embracing a friend. The two main walls symbolise the upper arm and forearm, whilst the partial wall that measures one tefach (one hand width) symbolises the palm of the hand that completes the embrace. Thus the succah becomes a place where we are cradled in Hashem’s arms, feeling His protection and love for us.

This Succot, I have been surrounded not only by Hashem's embrace but also by the warmth, generosity and hospitality of the many people in whose succot I have sat. I have been truly humbled by the kindness of strangers here in Israel who have gladly accepted me into their homes and treated me like an old friend. The first days of Yom Tov were spent with an Israeli family living in Yerushalaim, whose entire balcony had been converted into a very spacious and beautiful succah, decorated with each of the seven species of Israel. Despite the language barrier between us, and the fact that I had never met the family beforehand, I was greeted with great enthusiasm by all the family, the extended family and all their friends at shul too. I really enjoyed getting to know all the members of the family and having the chance to practice speaking in Hebrew!  I also had great fun visiting some of my teachers'; succot in Ramat Beit Shemesh during a succah crawl on chol hamo'ed - in each succah we were presented with delicious food, a really interesting dvar Torah relating to succot, and the chance to admire the beautiful artwork hanging on the walls of the succah.

I spent the last days of Yom Tov with an English family who made aliyah a few years ago, and who were incredibly helpful in accommodating all my needs for the second day of Yom Tov, since they now keep only one day. It was very insightful seeing how the couple, along with their young children, transitioned to a new life in Israel, and has led me to start thinking more seriously about moving to Israel myself in the near future, please G-d. Over the past couple of weeks I have been able to explore different areas around Israel and gain a glimpse of what life is like for residents of these parts. I participated in a scavenger hunt around Geulah and Meah Shearim just before succot began, and I was awed by the hundreds of
bustling stalls lining the streets, selling every variety of arba minim (the four species) possible, lending a strong citrus aroma to the air all around. I spent Shabbat chol hamo'ed with my cousin's family in Kfar Ya'avetz- a very idyllic and tranquil moshav near Netanya. I was captivated by the beautiful scenery and the warm, friendly atmoshpere- it is definitely somewhere I would be keen to visit again!

Another highlight of Sukkot was attending birkat kohanim (the Priestly Blessing) at the kotel during chol hamo'ed. It was a truly awesome experience to respond "amen"; to the blessings along with so many other visitors from across the
world, and one that created a very special sense of unity amongst us all. The seminary also arranged a tiyul for us during chol hamo'ed: we spent a morning hiking on Sattaf in the hills of Yerushalaim, from where we could admire the stunning views over the surrounding mountains and forests and also see an excavated, ancient wine press up close. 

Over the past few weeks, I have been attending trial classes every day but now that Succot has ended, I will be starting a regular schedule and going to all the classes which I have chosen. I am really excited to be starting the courses at last and getting to know my teachers a little better. As I write this, I am travelling on a bus back to seminary after what has been a truly wonderful Yom Tov. It feels great to be getting to grips with the public transport system here, and gaining a sense of independence in my new home for the year.  I still have a lot to learn and a lot to get used to, but I'm beginning to feel more like a resident here in my new home, rather than a visitor. Although it's flown by much  too quickly for my liking, if this first month is anything to judge by, I'm sure this year is going to be a great one!

Reflections on Yoni’s aphorism by Mia Gray: Are we all equal?

I think this aphorism highlights a very important idea. It is often popular to say that each person is “equal” but this isn’t necessarily correct. While each person most certainly has equal worth, not everyone is equal in their abilities and not everyone can be treated in the exact same way. For example, for some, the idea of an achievement is getting an A* on an exam but for others, just getting out of bed and turning up to the exam is an achievement. For some, their idea of stress is trying to balance a high-powered job, family, and multiple responsibilities, but for others just talking to another person can be a stressful event. And just because we all have different abilities and we all have to navigate life at different paces, none of our struggles or achievements mean any less than someone else’s. I saw a post on social media the other day that said “if one person drowns in 2 meters of water and someone else drowns in 30 meters of water, they’ve still both drowned. There’s no point comparing hardships.” Similarly, we need to treat everyone as a nuanced case, not just throw the idea of egalitarianism over everyone. We must be sensitive to other’s needs and try to understand the pace of life that everyone can go at.

In primary school I was always frustrated because there was one ‘naughty’ boy in the class. Whenever he did a simple task right and without a fuss he would be rewarded but when one of us did the same task, it was considered a normal action and we wouldn’t get thanks. I always complained that just because he was naughty he was rewarded for doing anything right, and us ‘good’ children were always doing things right and never getting recognition for it. It wasn’t until I grew up that I realised, the teacher was simply nurturing the best side in all of us. And if the best side to a difficult child was completing a simple task, so be it – let’s help him grow, not get angry that he’s just going a bit slower than the rest of us.

This message still stands today, in the adult world and is especially prevalent on Sukkot, because our actions are all done outside in the Sukkah, and therefore very public. Some choose to eat in a Sukkah, some choose to sleep in a Sukkah, some don’t have a Sukkah but still observe the festival in their own way. And while usually one can be a bit more private with their Judaism, sukkot unfortunately can often be a bit of a competition. Similar to the “how late did you stay awake on Seder night?” question, there’s a form of pride in comparing how brave you were eating in the rain, sleeping in the cold etc. and I find that people always compare their own sukkah successes and hardships. But as with life, it is important to go at the rate that is comfortable for you, and accept that everyone else will do the same. We might not be equal in this sense, but maybe that’s more special. Quite honestly an equal world would be a bit dull, so maybe it’s time to use Yoni’s aphorism and celebrate our differences.

Chag Sameach.

Some discussion questions:

• Is everyone equal?
• When is it right to treat people differently? When is it wrong?
• What do you think about this cartoon?

About Mia Gray

Mia Gray was the Yoni Jesner Scholar in 2016-17.  She spent her gap year in Israel on the Bnei Akiva Lahava programme and is now at university.  She recently participated in the Chief Rabbi’s Ben Azzai programme.